Business is built on trust. Your prospective clients need to trust you before they’ll buy from you. One of the simplest ways to build that trust? Referrals from people who already know how you help others.

Don’t have the confidence you need to ask for referrals? Want to learn a really easy way to do it? Read on!

May I Ask a Favour?

In August 2024 I came home from yet another business trip and realised I hadn’t been doing enough marketing. Which meant the inevitable had happened. The pipeline had dried up. Doh! I shouldn’t have been surprised. It’s why I constantly tell my clients not to stop doing their marketing.

What to do? Where to find some quick wins? Where to find some new business?

A wise business mentor suggested asking my contacts for referrals. Easier said than done, when the little voice on your shoulder pipes up: “What if they think I’m pestering them?”

If you feel the same about asking for referrals, let me share with you the strategy I created. The one that helped me land the biggest client of my 25+ years in business!

Here’s how to do it:

• Write a list of people you know, who know what you do and who you are. People you genuinely want to chat to – not that tricky client with whom you fell out. People you know will pleased to hear from you. I had 50 on my initial list. You might only have five and that’s fine.
• Decide how many you’re going to call every day. My goal was five. I tracked my progress using coloured pens on a sheet of paper on my desk. I’m a visual person. I like colours. I like visual, colourful ways of seeing my progress. Do whatever works for you.
• Pick up the phone! Yes – the phone. No hiding behind emails, texts, WhatsApp messages, LinkedIn notes, cards sent by post or carrier pigeons. If you don’t have someone’s number – get it!
• Ask this simple question of each person you call: “May I ask you a favour?” Then explain that you’re looking for referrals. Be specific about the type of people you’re looking for and the sort of work you’re doing.
• Say ‘Thank you’. To the people who can’t think of anyone – yet. To the people who do refer you. To the people who suggest meeting for coffee to have a proper chat about how they can help you.

It took six months to work through my list of 50 people. I left a lot of answer phone messages and made a huge number of follow up calls. I had some wonderful conversations. I never managed to get hold of two people on the list; and I only had one unpleasant conversation. I also received a lot of referrals, some of which turned into clients. I had some lovely meals in nice pubs, some of which also resulted in new business.

If you’re still worried about what people might say, when you call to ask for a referral, consider this. Some of my clients took great delight in laughing at me when I admitted I hadn’t been doing enough marketing. They enjoyed reminding me of all the times I’ve told them never to stop. Fair enough. I deserved it. And it actually strengthened our relationships.

The Marketing Moment

This month’s exercise has two parts:

• Start writing a list of the people you’re going to call. Current clients, past clients, potential networking connections. Make sure you have phone numbers – and then make the first call!
• Ask me for the handout I put together, when I ran a session at the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers Convention in December last year, all about generating referrals. Leave a comment or email me at [email protected] and I’ll send you the handout.

If you still need to be convinced about the power of asking for referrals, this article was posted in April 2026. The referrals are still coming in from those calls I started making a year and a half ago!